I’m almost back to working full time – I’ve been able to work my way back into working full time outside the home this month and it’s been a pretty smooth transition all things considered. Transitions always have their pros and cons; but I feel like we, as a family, are all adjusting to having me back at work really well. I must admit at first I had a pretty intense case of anxiety – to go to a new job, new people, leaving my baby, and adapting to another change. However in the last year our family has gone through many changes and obstacles, but we’ve overcome them with ease. I’ve realized that getting comfortable doesn’t do much for oneself. We shouldn’t ever get too comfortable in our day to day because life is constantly changing, moving, transitioning, etc, and it keeps us open-minded when we can adapt and change our daily perspective from time-to-time. We can easily become stagnant, entitled, or as I previously stated, too comfortable. Not that this was the case for myself, but there were days where I perhaps felt a little of each of those three things I’ll admittedly state. With that said, I think there are days like that for each and every one of us. So back to my point here, aside from my anxiety I also wasn’t too excited to be back to this career. It’s what I know and what I’ve practiced for the past 6 years. I think I was dwelling on a few things, the anxiety, leaving Orion, and doing a job I’m familiar with but doesn’t necessarily bring joy. I realize now that I was basically digging myself a hole of negativity, something I normally do not do at all. I used the “if ____ happens, then I’ll be happy” mindset, luckily only for a short period of time. This is the absolute wrong way of looking at things-and for me especially it messes with me physically, mentally and emotionally when I think of things that way. I say this because I will proudly say I am, by nature, a positive and happy person and enjoy seeing others feel that way too. To me, that is the most powerful soul food out there, positivity, love, light, and being happy. So for me using the “if, then” thought, against my nature, instantly put my happiness on a contingency. Why should anyone do that? It’s a heavy weight to put on our own life and how we feel in our numbered days. With that said, I no longer have this weight I had, fortunately, only carried around for a short period of time. (But it was still long enough) I’m choosing to continue to simply be happy; to continue to see the positives in everything. The kind, down-to-earth people I have the pleasure of now working with, my supportive family, having a daycare center less than 2 miles from my job, having income to help support myself and family again, etc. WHATEVER the case may be, I’ll seek it out. So while I can find the good and beauty in each day, I can still have my goals. Where I want to go – I need to work hard for in multiple ways; which makes me appreciate my path even more. But in realizing how I should be looking at life in the now from a different perspective, I can see now how I can find abundant joy in the PROCESS of working to these goals, my day to day living, AND in the big picture. Now that is where we can thrive; we evoke happiness in ourselves and shine that light to others around us. And it’s all in our control; we can choose perpetual positivity if we practice it. To waste energy on looking at the glass half empty vs half full is a disappointment; by applying that energy to seeing the good we add value to our lives and our journey. Even when we may not be where we desire to be, or if we try and don’t succeed right away, we can still have the power to make the best of each and every moment and to build a stronger self than yesterday – perhaps more motivated or focused, but all the while feeling at peace with our souls. I’m still working towards where I want to be, I am motivated and driven to get there, but I can now, again, be at peace with my present journey as well. It’s not easy sometimes writing critique on myself or publicly admitting faults – even though we all are beautifully imperfect and have flaws, but I definitely feel I had stumbled a bit but picked myself up – and wanted to share for those of you who maybe too have stumbled. My hope would be to shed some light on how we can manifest our happiness into our thoughts, moments, future, etc. My mind has definitely cleared the clouds on this one and now it’s my tenacious task of putting it to practice daily.
Thanks for reading! ❤️