I’m starting my new job beginning of November and I am feeling a mix of emotions. I have been at home since mid August on maternity leave and have been blessed with the ability to raise Orion for the first few precious months of his life, be here when Bishop gets home from school, pick Todd up early from daycare and spend extra time with him reading and practicing words, as well as cook breakfast for Branden every morning and keep up with the house chores, bookkeeping, etc. It’s been an opportunity to also define where I want to head with my career and life.
I’ll be completely honest here, I feel I am just now recently adapting to working at home. At first I felt a bit stir crazy, constantly finding things to occupy my time and give the kids attention. I had a few days where I felt “cabin fever” when Orion was brand new because I didn’t want to take him out in public with all of the germs. I found it difficult at first to find a schedule between all 3 of the boys and Branden but we have it down now! (Yay!) It’s a huge adjustment going from working 8-5 Monday through Friday every week; the most time I’ve ever taken off since I’ve been in the workforce was a week and that was 5 years ago. It feels strange not having an income or working outside the home when I’ve always had a job. However this has been one of the greatest blessings I could’ve had in life – getting to bond with my baby boy and helping us all to adjust to life as a family of five. I was unable to spend more than 5 weeks at home with my first son and it was a lot of stress going back to work so soon, to separate from my baby so soon. That has made me appreciate this valuable time even more because of that! Orion is incredible, only gets up twice a night and is a very happy baby. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have such amazing kids, all three, and my rock, Branden. With that said, it’s been a mixture of emotions from having Orion to now looking at returning to the workforce outside of the home soon. I want to point out that being at home is hard work, despite the popular belief pointing towards it being an easy job; there is always work to be done, chores, kids, errands, you name it, it’s a million daily tasks and they never end, even in the middle of the night. But I take an incredible amount of pride in those daily tasks, they are my job. Yes, there were days where it feels like I didn’t play much of a purpose other than feeding Orion what felt like a majority of the day 😉; other days where I feel like I made a world of difference and I was able to focus on my goals in life and as a family. There are so many ups and downs, but it’s all how you look at it. I look at how much I can do in a day and how I can try to have the house organized, laundry done, kids clean, and dinner ready by the time Branden gets home from work. It feels excellent to accomplish so much in a day and to keep a peaceful vibe at home during the evening by working hard during the day. It feels good that if anyone needs something done during the day, I can normally lend a helping hand no problem. I did have a few days where all I wanted was some adult interaction or to be out and about accomplishing more than things at home, making money, expanding insight, etc. Who can honestly say they have never had a day or two where they feel slightly stagnant? I don’t think anyone can, but that’s a good thing because it reminds us to work harder tomorrow. But I’ve grown to realize I’ve expanded more insight in these past few months than I have in a very long time.
Money isn’t everything, everyone knows that. However I am looking forward to having an income again, to be able to help pay the bills, get back on a working schedule, and also put money into my goal career path. Yes, I am going back into the banking world at a smaller bank chain’s corporate office..for now. Orion and Todd are going to the same daycare and we will have a few more adjustments to make when that time comes. I’m looking at this as a stepping stone, working to become what and where I want to be. This goal of mine is not in the banking world, but rather using my abilities to create, make a difference, love what I do and help provide for my family. So while I’m feeling a bit of sadness thinking of this transition to not being the one taking care of my little one during the day and being with him all of the time, I am also finding myself prepared to embrace the challenge of achieving my goal career; on the starting line beginning of November. To finally be working towards this huge goal of mine, and to work hard at it. Sometimes we can get too comfortable in our daily lives and need something to remind us that nothing stays the same, ever. We need to keep pushing to be the best we can; no matter what that “push” or adaptation may be. I want the best future possible for myself and my family, and with the multitude of emotions aside, the fact is that when I can see the big picture, each being unique to ourselves of course, you can see where sacrifices may be made and challenges arise. This is how I will grow, tackling one challenge at a time.
In a nutshell, my family has always made me feel important in any situation; while I was working or at home with the kids. Feeling appreciated and valued has given me such pride in my “mom job”. I couldn’t have been able to have the past few months without my family’s support either, and for that I am eternally grateful. I am proud of my family, our home and how we can live each day surrounded by abundant love, care and support for each other. I can also say I am proud of myself for pushing harder, for seeking new growth and trusting in my “big picture”, faced with new hurdles along the way. I’m keeping a positive and open mind about this new job and again, viewing it as one stepping stone to keep moving forward. I hope others can be proud of themselves too for making decisions for their own greater good, no matter what that may be. Embrace it, be proud of it, always! For those of you who know me well, you probably know where I want to head in my career and my plan I’m currently taking steps to execute, but for those of you who don’t, I hope you follow me along this journey as well. Having supportive vibes feels great and I feel fantastic looking to the future, and making each step count and giving it my all.
As always, thanks for checking in! Wish me luck next week. We each only get one life, best to keep active in pursuing our dreams. ❤️